Dear Bimbo,

My ex and I have broken up for two years now. He moved to Abuja for his studies and we stopped talking so the relationship ended.

Now he has returned and he says he wants me back. He has been calling me regularly and trying very hard to rekindle the relationship. I still have feelings for him and I’m considering reconciliation. But the issue is that I heard that he has a girlfriend in Abuja.

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It was his sister that told me. She and I are friends and she wanted to warn me about dating him again. I don’t want to make the mistake of dating him if he already has someone else. How can I know the truth?

Dear Michelle,

So you’re torn between believing what this guy’s sister tells you and trusting that the guy has good intentions. First off, have you tried having a frank discussion with him to ask him straight up? Chances are, if he has a girlfriend back there, he may not tell the truth. But you can learn a lot from his reaction.

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Then you also have to ask yourself if his sister has anything to gain by pushing you two apart. Is her concern for you real? Only you can answer that depending on what type of friendship you have with her. You can suggest that she offers you some kind of proof of how she knows her brother has a girl in Abuja. She should be able to tell you if she’s just making guesses or she knows for sure.

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Regardless of all this though, all that matters is if you trust him. If he insists he doesn’t have a girlfriend, and his sister cannot produce concrete proof, all you have left to go on are your instincts. And since this is someone you once dated, you may know him enough to be able to answer the question; is he the type of guy to play these types of games?

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If his past actions or his response to your questions make you suspicious, then you’re better off moving on.

Good luck.


What do you think she should do in this situation? Please share your thoughts in the comment section.